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“Hey Blue, the runner busted his butt running to first base, the least you could do is move 10 ft. to make a call!”~~~
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“Wipe the dirt off that called strike, Blue!”~~~
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“Hey Blue, did they stop printing the rulebook in Braille?”~~~
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“Hey Blue, Lenscrafter called and said your new glasses will be ready in 30 minutes!”~~~
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“You're killing me, Blue!”~~~
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“Blue, that was a strike in any bowling alley!”~~~
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“Sweep the plate Blue! It's the least you can do!”~~~
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“Wake up Blue, you're missing a great game!”~~~
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“Hey Blue, you're getting better, you almost made the right call that time!”~~~
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“Hey Blue, Stevie Wonder could see that one!”~~~
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“Hey Blue, you really shouldn't be in the game until you get warmed up!”~~~
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“Blue, just 'cause it's a night game, doesn't mean you should be asleep!”~~~
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“Blue, if that pitch were any further outside it would be in the West Desert!”~~~
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“Somebody call the police, this guy is impersonating an umpire!”~~~
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“Blue, now I know why there’s only one eye (I) in umpire”~~~
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“You can go home Blue. We'll take it from here.”~~~
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“Come on Blue, it’s a strike zone, not an end zone!”~~~
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“Hey Blue, does your wife let you make decisions at home?”~~~
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“Blue, kick your dog, he's lying to you!”~~~
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“Blue, if the pitcher is throwing too fast for you, we can ask him to slow it down!”~~~
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“Hey Blue, how can you sleep with all these lights on?”~~~
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“I’ve seen better Blues in a box of crayons!”~~~
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“I’m gonna break your cane and shoot your dog!”~~~
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“If I had a dollar, Blue, for every good call you’ve made, I’d be broke!”~~~
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"Is that your final answer?”~~~
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“The magic 8 ball says……”~~~
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“When your dog barks twice, it's a strike!”~~~
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“Mix in some consistency once in awhile!”~~~
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“Take off that welding mask”~~~
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“Lenscrafter called... They'll be ready in 30 min.”~~~
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“Open your good eye!”~~~
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“Can I pet your seeing eye dog after the game?”~~~
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“Looked pretty good from up here Blue!”~~~
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“Do your sleeping at home Blue!”~~~
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“You must be losing them in the lights!”~~~
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“Why do you keep looking in your hand...do you have a map of the strike zone in it?”~~~
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“I'll take three pencils!”~~~
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“For a guy that only works 2 hours a day, you're doing a pretty bad job!”~~~
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“Hey blue, if you had one more eye you'd be a Cyclops!”~~~
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“RING..RING....Wake up call Blue!”~~~
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“I've seen better blue in a toilet bowl!”~~~
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“What's a matter you gotta broken arm?”~~~
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“Look through the mask, not at it!”~~~
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“It really is hot today - that strike zone is melting!”~~~
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“Wrong!”~~~
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“Here's a quarter, go buy a strike zone!”~~~
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“How's work experience going Blue?”~~~
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“Hey Blue…if you had one more eye, you’d be a Cyclops!”~~~
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“Keep that up and we’ll shoot your dog and break your cane!”~~~
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“"Easy Flinchy" – After a slight flinch behind the plate.”~~~
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“I thought only horses slept standing up!”~~~
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“You're blinking way to long!”~~~
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“Come on Blue, that pitch was so far outside it had a hat and coat on!”~~~
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“You couldn't see the plate if your dinner was on it!”~~~
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“Wake up Blue, you're missing a great game!”~~~
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“Somebody call the police, this guy's impersonating an umpire!”~~~
-
“You're like a bat without sonar!”~~~
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“I didn't know we were golfing today, I would have brought my clubs!”~~~
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“Did you star in "Weekend at Bernie's"?”~~~
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“Hey blue, that call was a get outta here quick call!”~~~
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“I thought only horses slept standing up!”~~~
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“That was higher than a t-shirt at Mardi Gras!”~~~
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“Hey Blue, it's against the law to make prank calls!”~~~
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“(Hold up cell phone) Is this your cell phone? Because it has three missed calls!”~~~
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“That pitch was like your last date, you didn't want to see her or call her.”~~~
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“To batter as he steps into the box: "You better be swinging. You're standing in the strike zone."”~~~
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“After the ump has dusted off home plate: "You're gonna make someone a great wife someday!”~~~
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“You're not gonna sleep a minute tonight because you've slept all game!”~~~
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“Did you make the call on WMD in Iraq as well?”~~~
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“Is your rule book written in Braille?”~~~
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“Hey Blue, how can you sleep with all these lights on!”~~~
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“Stevie Wonder could see that one!”~~~
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“Flip over the plate and read the directions!”~~~
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“How about some Windex for that glass eye!”~~~
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“The French judge says it's a strike!”~~~
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“Hey Blue, diarrhea has more consistency than your strike zone!”~~~
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“You need to go to confession after that call!”~~~
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“I've seen better Blues in a box of crayons!”~~~
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“Don't bother brushing off the corners, you're not calling them anyway!”~~~
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“We know you're blind, we've seen your wife!”~~~
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“They're putting your strike zone on the back of milk cartons!”~~~
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“Hey Blue, that's not a 9 iron he's hitting with!”~~~
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“How do you sleep at night?”~~~
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“I was confused the first time I saw a game too!”~~~
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“I've gotten better calls from my ex-wife!”~~~
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“Good thing there are not three choices!”~~~
-
“Somebody get the ump his prescription mask!”~~~
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“You flipping coins?”~~~
-
“Hey Blue is that a dinner plate? Apparently it has no corners!”~~~
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“Admit it.... You lied!”~~~
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“Why don't you get your Seeing Eye dog to call it for you?”~~~
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“I forgot the Milk-Bone for your seeing-eye dog!”~~~
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“Have you lost your strike zone in the lights?”~~~
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“Now I know why there's only one eye (I) in umpire!”~~~
-
“You couldn't get a pitchout right!”~~~
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“You're making more bad calls than a telemarketer!”~~~
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“Kick your dog, he's lying to you!”~~~
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“Be careful when you back up, so you don't fall over your dog!”~~~
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“Did you haul in your strike zone on a tractor trailer bed?”~~~
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“Hey Blue, if you had another eye it would be lonely!”~~~
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“You couldn't call hogs!”~~~
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“Keep calling them like that and you'll be bagging groceries in no time!”~~~
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“Get a hammer and some nails, the plate is movin' around again!”~~~
-
“You call more strikes than a union delegate!”~~~
-
“Did your glass eye fog up?”~~~
-
“You couldn't call a cab!”~~~
-
“The circus is in town and the clowns are wearing blue!”~~~
-
“It's a strike zone, not an end zone!”~~~
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“You really shouldn't be in the game until you get warmed up!”~~~
-
“Come on Blue, turn that mask around and get a GOOD look!”~~~
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“You can go home blue, we'll take it from here!”~~~
-
“How'd you become an umpire? Flunk out of tollbooth school?”~~~
-
“How about asking the crowd?”~~~
-
“Do you want to use another lifeline?”~~~
-
“3 Blind Mice, 3 Blind Mice,”~~~
-
“What were you, a lookout for the Titanic?”~~~
-
“How many fingers am I holding up?”~~~
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“(For an umpire is slow getting in position) C'mon blue, put the Snicker Bar down!”~~~
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“Sweep the plate! It's the least you can do!”~~~
-
“Move around, you're tilting' the infield!”~~~
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“Move around Blue, you're killing' the grass!”~~~
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“It sure sounded like a strike!”~~~
-
“How'd you get a square head in that round mask?”~~~
-
“Have they stopped printing the rulebooks in Braille?”~~~
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“Don't donate your eyes to science, they don't want 'em'”~~~
-
“Does your wife let you make decisions at home?”~~~
-
“Pull the good eye out of your pocket!”~~~
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“Wipe the dirt off that called strike!”~~~
-
“Sure you don't want to phone a friend?”~~~
-
“You can open your eyes now!”~~~
-
“Do you get any better or is this it?”~~~
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“You're blinking too long!”~~~
-
“You couldn't make the right call if you had a phone book!”~~~
-
“You couldn't make a call in a phone booth!”~~~
-
“Do you take Visa or American Express?”~~~
-
“Leave the gift giving to Santa!”~~~
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“Take out your glass eye and wash it!”~~~
-
“Guess again, the last call was wrong!”~~~
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“Blue, do you feel guilty?”~~~
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“If the pitcher is throwing too fast for you, we can ask them to slow it down!”~~~
-
“Your strike zone is a moving target!”~~~
-
“You're getting better, you almost made the right call that time!”~~~
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“Punch a hole in that mask, you're missing a good game!”~~~
-
“Hey, Sleeping Beauty, wake up!”~~~
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“Hey Blue, Magnum P.I. called and he can't find your strike zone!”~~~
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“I've seen potatoes with better eyes!”~~~
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“Next time buy a ticket if you're going to watch!”~~~
-
“Can I buy you another beer?”~~~
-
“We know your blind we've seen your wife!”~~~
-
“I’ve seen better blues in a crayon box!”~~~
-
“I've heard better calls at a square dance!”~~~
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“I've heard better calls between two tin cans and a piece of string!”~~~
-
“Hey Blue, were you looking for the curve?”~~~
-
“Hey Blues, which one of you is the designated driver?”~~~
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“Move a little Blue, you're growing' roots!~~~
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Correct call?

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