• “Hey Blue, the runner busted his butt running to first base, the least you could do is move 10 ft. to make a call!”~~~

  • “Wipe the dirt off that called strike, Blue!”~~~

  • “Hey Blue, did they stop printing the rulebook in Braille?”~~~

  • “Hey Blue, Lenscrafter called and said your new glasses will be ready in 30 minutes!”~~~

  • “You're killing me, Blue!”~~~

  • “Blue, that was a strike in any bowling alley!”~~~

  • “Sweep the plate Blue! It's the least you can do!”~~~

  • “Wake up Blue, you're missing a great game!”~~~

  • “Hey Blue, you're getting better, you almost made the right call that time!”~~~

  • “Hey Blue, Stevie Wonder could see that one!”~~~

  • “Hey Blue, you really shouldn't be in the game until you get warmed up!”~~~

  • “Blue, just 'cause it's a night game, doesn't mean you should be asleep!”~~~

  • “Blue, if that pitch were any further outside it would be in the West Desert!”~~~

  • “Somebody call the police, this guy is impersonating an umpire!”~~~

  • “Blue, now I know why there’s only one eye (I) in umpire”~~~

  • “You can go home Blue. We'll take it from here.”~~~

  • “Come on Blue, it’s a strike zone, not an end zone!”~~~

  • “Hey Blue, does your wife let you make decisions at home?”~~~

  • “Blue, kick your dog, he's lying to you!”~~~

  • “Blue, if the pitcher is throwing too fast for you, we can ask him to slow it down!”~~~

  • “Hey Blue, how can you sleep with all these lights on?”~~~

  • “I’ve seen better Blues in a box of crayons!”~~~

  • “I’m gonna break your cane and shoot your dog!”~~~

  • “If I had a dollar, Blue, for every good call you’ve made, I’d be broke!”~~~

  • "Is that your final answer?”~~~

  • “The magic 8 ball says……”~~~

  • “When your dog barks twice, it's a strike!”~~~

  • “Mix in some consistency once in awhile!”~~~

  • “Take off that welding mask”~~~

  • “Lenscrafter called... They'll be ready in 30 min.”~~~

  • “Open your good eye!”~~~

  • “Can I pet your seeing eye dog after the game?”~~~

  • “Looked pretty good from up here Blue!”~~~

  • “Do your sleeping at home Blue!”~~~

  • “You must be losing them in the lights!”~~~

  • “Why do you keep looking in your hand...do you have a map of the strike zone in it?”~~~

  • “I'll take three pencils!”~~~

  • “For a guy that only works 2 hours a day, you're doing a pretty bad job!”~~~

  • “Hey blue, if you had one more eye you'd be a Cyclops!”~~~

  • “RING..RING....Wake up call Blue!”~~~

  • “I've seen better blue in a toilet bowl!”~~~

  • “What's a matter you gotta broken arm?”~~~

  • “Look through the mask, not at it!”~~~

  • “It really is hot today - that strike zone is melting!”~~~

  • “Wrong!”~~~

  • “Here's a quarter, go buy a strike zone!”~~~

  • “How's work experience going Blue?”~~~

  • “Hey Blue…if you had one more eye, you’d be a Cyclops!”~~~

  • “Keep that up and we’ll shoot your dog and break your cane!”~~~

  • “"Easy Flinchy" – After a slight flinch behind the plate.”~~~

  • “I thought only horses slept standing up!”~~~

  • “You're blinking way to long!”~~~

  • “Come on Blue, that pitch was so far outside it had a hat and coat on!”~~~

  • “You couldn't see the plate if your dinner was on it!”~~~

  • “Wake up Blue, you're missing a great game!”~~~

  • “Somebody call the police, this guy's impersonating an umpire!”~~~

  • “You're like a bat without sonar!”~~~

  • “I didn't know we were golfing today, I would have brought my clubs!”~~~

  • “Did you star in "Weekend at Bernie's"?”~~~

  • “Hey blue, that call was a get outta here quick call!”~~~

  • “I thought only horses slept standing up!”~~~

  • “That was higher than a t-shirt at Mardi Gras!”~~~

  • “Hey Blue, it's against the law to make prank calls!”~~~

  • “(Hold up cell phone) Is this your cell phone? Because it has three missed calls!”~~~

  • “That pitch was like your last date, you didn't want to see her or call her.”~~~

  • “To batter as he steps into the box: "You better be swinging. You're standing in the strike zone."”~~~

  • “After the ump has dusted off home plate: "You're gonna make someone a great wife someday!”~~~

  • “You're not gonna sleep a minute tonight because you've slept all game!”~~~

  • “Did you make the call on WMD in Iraq as well?”~~~

  • “Is your rule book written in Braille?”~~~

  • “Hey Blue, how can you sleep with all these lights on!”~~~

  • “Stevie Wonder could see that one!”~~~

  • “Flip over the plate and read the directions!”~~~

  • “How about some Windex for that glass eye!”~~~

  • “The French judge says it's a strike!”~~~

  • “Hey Blue, diarrhea has more consistency than your strike zone!”~~~

  • “You need to go to confession after that call!”~~~

  • “I've seen better Blues in a box of crayons!”~~~

  • “Don't bother brushing off the corners, you're not calling them anyway!”~~~

  • “We know you're blind, we've seen your wife!”~~~

  • “They're putting your strike zone on the back of milk cartons!”~~~

  • “Hey Blue, that's not a 9 iron he's hitting with!”~~~

  • “How do you sleep at night?”~~~

  • “I was confused the first time I saw a game too!”~~~

  • “I've gotten better calls from my ex-wife!”~~~

  • “Good thing there are not three choices!”~~~

  • “Somebody get the ump his prescription mask!”~~~

  • “You flipping coins?”~~~

  • “Hey Blue is that a dinner plate? Apparently it has no corners!”~~~

  • “Admit it.... You lied!”~~~

  • “Why don't you get your Seeing Eye dog to call it for you?”~~~

  • “I forgot the Milk-Bone for your seeing-eye dog!”~~~

  • “Have you lost your strike zone in the lights?”~~~

  • “Now I know why there's only one eye (I) in umpire!”~~~

  • “You couldn't get a pitchout right!”~~~

  • “You're making more bad calls than a telemarketer!”~~~

  • “Kick your dog, he's lying to you!”~~~

  • “Be careful when you back up, so you don't fall over your dog!”~~~

  • “Did you haul in your strike zone on a tractor trailer bed?”~~~

  • “Hey Blue, if you had another eye it would be lonely!”~~~

  • “You couldn't call hogs!”~~~

  • “Keep calling them like that and you'll be bagging groceries in no time!”~~~

  • “Get a hammer and some nails, the plate is movin' around again!”~~~

  • “You call more strikes than a union delegate!”~~~

  • “Did your glass eye fog up?”~~~

  • “You couldn't call a cab!”~~~

  • “The circus is in town and the clowns are wearing blue!”~~~

  • “It's a strike zone, not an end zone!”~~~

  • “You really shouldn't be in the game until you get warmed up!”~~~

  • “Come on Blue, turn that mask around and get a GOOD look!”~~~

  • “You can go home blue, we'll take it from here!”~~~

  • “How'd you become an umpire? Flunk out of tollbooth school?”~~~

  • “How about asking the crowd?”~~~

  • “Do you want to use another lifeline?”~~~

  • “3 Blind Mice, 3 Blind Mice,”~~~

  • “What were you, a lookout for the Titanic?”~~~

  • “How many fingers am I holding up?”~~~

  • “(For an umpire is slow getting in position) C'mon blue, put the Snicker Bar down!”~~~

  • “Sweep the plate! It's the least you can do!”~~~

  • “Move around, you're tilting' the infield!”~~~

  • “Move around Blue, you're killing' the grass!”~~~

  • “It sure sounded like a strike!”~~~

  • “How'd you get a square head in that round mask?”~~~

  • “Have they stopped printing the rulebooks in Braille?”~~~

  • “Don't donate your eyes to science, they don't want 'em'”~~~

  • “Does your wife let you make decisions at home?”~~~

  • “Pull the good eye out of your pocket!”~~~

  • “Wipe the dirt off that called strike!”~~~

  • “Sure you don't want to phone a friend?”~~~

  • “You can open your eyes now!”~~~

  • “Do you get any better or is this it?”~~~

  • “You're blinking too long!”~~~

  • “You couldn't make the right call if you had a phone book!”~~~

  • “You couldn't make a call in a phone booth!”~~~

  • “Do you take Visa or American Express?”~~~

  • “Leave the gift giving to Santa!”~~~

  • “Take out your glass eye and wash it!”~~~

  • “Guess again, the last call was wrong!”~~~

  • “Blue, do you feel guilty?”~~~

  • “If the pitcher is throwing too fast for you, we can ask them to slow it down!”~~~

  • “Your strike zone is a moving target!”~~~

  • “You're getting better, you almost made the right call that time!”~~~

  • “Punch a hole in that mask, you're missing a good game!”~~~

  • “Hey, Sleeping Beauty, wake up!”~~~

  • “Hey Blue, Magnum P.I. called and he can't find your strike zone!”~~~

  • “I've seen potatoes with better eyes!”~~~

  • “Next time buy a ticket if you're going to watch!”~~~

  • “Can I buy you another beer?”~~~

  • “We know your blind we've seen your wife!”~~~

  • “I’ve seen better blues in a crayon box!”~~~

  • “I've heard better calls at a square dance!”~~~

  • “I've heard better calls between two tin cans and a piece of string!”~~~

  • “Hey Blue, were you looking for the curve?”~~~

  • “Hey Blues, which one of you is the designated driver?”~~~

  • “Move a little Blue, you're growing' roots!~~~

  • '

G Rules Tie

Michael LeavittMLB 2013 200

If you hang around the stands long enough, you will hear, “Tie goes to the runner” more than almost any other phrase when it comes to plays made on the batter/runner at first base. Is this really true? Or is this an urban legend?


RULES - The Official Rules of Major League Baseball cover this situation in sections 6.05(j) and 7.01.

6.05 A batter is out when—

(j) After a third strike or after he hits a fair ball, he or first base is tagged before he touches first base;

7.01 A runner acquires the right to an unoccupied base when he touches it before he is out. He is then entitled to it until he is put out, or forced to vacate it for another runner legally entitled to that base.

OFFICIAL RULING - The batter has to beat the throw to first base, there are no ties. If he does not beat the ball to first base, then he is out.

G Rules Come On Blue 

Here is a great commentary article from BleacherReport.com....


By Mark Dewdney (Correspondent) on July 27, 2009

"COME ON, BLUE" is a typical preface to unsolicited remarks to an umpire by a player, parent, fan or coach who feels they or their player have been wronged. Mark will write a series of articles under "COME ON, BLUE" explaining various common baseball misconceptions.

As the photo shows, we umpires are always getting grief for one thing or another.

We don't usually mind, really, so long as it's not questioning our judgment. For example, if Dusty was arguing that the called strike was "this far outside", he may as well start writing a check for the ejection to Bud Selig right now.

ArgueCallHowever, when the manager (never a player—let your coaches do the talking, boys & girls) is coming to talk to one of us about a point of order, a specific rule, we USUALLY don't mind.

I say "usually" because there are a few grave misconceptions. My favorite?


NO. It does NOT. Not EVER. (Have I been emphatic enough?) Let me be literal; NOWHERE in the Rules Of Baseball does it say "tie goes to the runner."

There's no such thing as a "tie" in baseball—that's an article of nearly religious faith in the baseball community, and it's a big part of why we love the sport. No shootouts or sudden death here—play until someone drops.

That runner comes across the first-base bag—the "tie" call is, at least in most fans' perception, most common at first—and let's say, BANG-BANG, the ball arrives at the EXACT SAME MOMENT.

Now, let's say that instant replay (shudder) is REQUIRED (shudder) on ALL contested baseball plays—perish the thought.

We trot over, outraged skipper behind us, to the Sony Fantasmatron HD 1000080p Official Major League Baseball Review Machiny-thingy. It SHOWS us, LIVE AND IN COLOR, the ball hitting Carlos Delgado's glove at the EXACT MILLISECOND that the leading spike on Joey Votto's right foot first ttttttouched the bag. DEAD EVEN. A physicist couldn't make an argument one way or the other.

BLAM. "HE'S STILL OUT!" Uh-oh. Dusty's getting ejected again. Good thing it wasn't Pinella or that jerk from the minor leagues who threw the rosin bag like a grenade.

"WHAT? WHY?!?" come the howls of protest from the fans, wronged by "yet another" dingbat umpire.

Check your rule book, baseball students;

Rule 7.01 - "A runner acquires the right to an unoccupied base when he touches it before he is out." The key word here is "before". The INSTANT that ball touches the fielder's mitt, if the runner was not there BEFORE the ball, he MUST be called out—no leeway. If the ump thought the ball was there before or at the same time, he's gotta bang Mister Votto.

Still not sold? Check 6.05 (j) - "A batter is out when, after a third strike or after he hits a fair ball, he or first base is tagged before he touches first base" (there's that "before" bit again).

Still shaking your head? Okay, try 7.09 (e), which actually goes a teeny-tiny step further; "...is out when he fails to reach the next base before a fielder tags him or the base..."

So, it's pretty clear. Gotta get there before the ball, Sparky, or you can just keep on running.

One final salvo, direct from the mouth of veteran MLB ump Tim McLelland when a Little League umpire told him;

"The coach told me that ties go to the runner. I said the batter has to beat the throw to first because there are no such thing as ties.”

McClelland: That is exactly right. There are no ties and there is no rule that says the tie goes to the runner. But the rule book does say that the runner must beat the ball to first base, and so if he doesn't beat the ball, then he is out. So you have to make the decision. That's why umpires are paid the money they are, to make the decision on if he did or if he didn't. The only thing you can do is go by whether or not he beat the ball. If he did (beat the ball), then he is safe."

MLB umpires, and, truthfully, even those of us at lesser levels, are taught a simple little ditty;


In other words, if you're not sure of the result, SELL THE CALL—reeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaalllly ring him up, give it "the big sell"; "HE'S OUT!" and bang the air with your fist (If you sound sure, the coach is probably going to stay put & grumble. That's a good thing.).

At that point, you're probably going to have an argument either way, which you can't win if you're an ump. Call him out, and you're one step closer to that game being over. (No, we don't want to go home early—unless there's a coach yelling at us. Do YOU want to stay late at work if the boss is a screamer?)

Here's the challenge; Prove me wrong. Check the MLB rule book, stem-to-stern (especially Rule Seven, "The Runner") and come back at me here if you can find something you could take out to me on the field. Here it is;

So, next time you're at the game (especially a Little League game) and some ignoramus (love that word) yells, "TIE GOES TO THE RUNNER!" you can sagely lean back and inform the 'ramus in question that, "No, actually, if you look up Rule Seven-Oh-One, it says that he can only be safe if he arrives BEFORE the ball. No ties in baseball, mate."

Oughta make the game a little more peaceful for a few more minutes...at least until the ump calls "infield fly—batter's out!"

More on that NEXT column.

Mark Dewdney is a failed player, and, as a result, a long-time Ontario umpire, typically found on a midget, junior or senior ball field somewhere in Toronto.




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